Every year, as the New Year rings in, thousands of people around the world make “new year, new me” pledges – only to find themselves discouraged and disappointed a few weeks later.
But what would happen if we stopped focussing on “fixing” our weaknesses? What if, instead, we pledged to lean into the strengths we have? What if we spent more of our time doing what makes us happy? What if we let go of the “not enough” culture altogether?
The possibilities are endless.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work
New Year’s resolutions fail for numerous reasons. Some of the most common reasons include not having enough time, not having support from family and friends, setting unrealistic goals, and progressing too slowly toward a goal.
Psychology Today discusses one phenomenon called the “empathy gap”. This occurs when we plan for a future experience and fail to account for how it will feel as time wears on.
For example, you plan to go for a run. The first mile feels great, so you think to yourself, “Oh, I can do ten miles today!” However, by mile four, fatigue is setting in, so you quit. Then, you find yourself discouraged because you didn’t do ten miles, rather than celebrating the fact that you ran four.
5 Alternatives to New Year’s Resolutions
When we create plans for big lifestyle changes, it’s important to always set milestones that honor small successes. If we don’t, we run the risk of becoming easily discouraged weeks or months down the road when resolution fatigue sets in.
So, in light of the new year, how can we make sure that the goals we set are attainable and realistic? I recommend taking a look at the big picture. Here are five strategies that can help!
1. Create a bucket list
Think about what you really hope to accomplish personally, professionally, spiritually, etc this year. Rather than “lose twenty pounds,” think in terms of “find a form of exercise I enjoy” and “try at least ten new recipes.”
2. Create a monthly challenge
These should be challenges that can be realistically accomplished in a month. Examples could be to read three books or ride a bike for at least ten days. Just make sure that the challenge you set is realistic, and make sure to celebrate when you achieve your goal!
3. Use a vision board
A vision board is a collection of words, photos, and drawings that describe the direction you want your life to go in. For example, this year, our family is planning on enjoying a week outdoors at Yellowstone National Park. I’m writing a book, and I aim to finish it this year. We are also looking for a little farmhouse to buy to grow our farm. These are all of the things that could go on my vision board!
4. Try a family goal jar
Have everyone in the family jot down something they would like to accomplish as a family in the coming year. Maybe, like our family, you have a special trip planned. Maybe you want to have a screen-free weekend or tackle a new book series together. Periodically, draw a goal from the jar and have fun tackling it together!
5. Practice gratitude
Regularly journaling about what you are grateful for is a practice that reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression. It’s also an exercise that empowers you to reframe the negatives in your life into positives. For example, instead of being discouraged about what you haven’t accomplished yet, celebrate what you have accomplished. “I am so grateful I parked further away from the store and got a bit of extra walking in today. The fresh air did me good.”
Brandy is currently entering her candidacy for marriage and family therapy. Her education is in early and elementary education, and she has masters degrees in parenting and child/adolescent development and marriage and family therapy. Brandy has held several career roles, such as early childhood teacher, case manager for a mental health agency, shelter manager for a womens’ shelter, and victim advocate at a crisis center. Brandy is a wife to her high school sweetheart, and they share three children. In her free time, she enjoys reading, gardening, and writing.
Courtesy of: The Lily-Jo Project
