By the time your child turns 80, they will have spent 20 years of their life behind a screen.
That is not a typo. If that idea bothers you as much as it does me and seems impossible, let’s run the numbers for a second. (Also, I am using averages and need a bit of leeway here…I’ll explain why after.) The average age a child receives a device is 11. (For these purposes, we are not going to count ipad/gaming screen time before 11). The average time a kid spends on a device every day is 6-8 hours a day, so let’s go with 7. The average lifespan is 77, but let’s use 80 for a round number. If that child stays on their device as they grow up for an average of 7 hours a day til they are 80, then they will have spent 20 years of their life on a device. That is 20 years sitting behind a screen.
Now we know there are many different variables here. So let’s say we cut the time in half to give room for those variables (time averages, age, etc). It is still 10 years of their life.
Does this feel shocking to you? It did to me. It is because our brains experience screen time in minutes and hours, not in years of a finite life. Seven hours today doesn’t feel enormous. It’s scattered across checking a phone, answering messages, watching something, working, scrolling, looking something up. Each interaction feels small and often purposeful. The brain files it under what I did today, not a portion of my lifespan. But when we convert those normal hours into years, time becomes visible as a life resource.
Twenty years translates differently. It looks like childhood, growing into teen years and young adulthood. It looks like the length of a career. It looks like raising kids. So I think then the opportunity cost becomes impossible to ignore.
The years are not necessarily “wasted”…but like I said above….even if half of it IS junk scrolling…what are we missing out on? What are we replacing? Looking at another person’s face, being outdoors, moving our bodies, noticing our surroundings, being bored, creating, talking, playing. It feels like such a mismatch between intention and accumulation. No one wakes up and says, “I want to spend 20 years of my life on a device.” But we do so willingly, albeit a bit unknowingly.
I speak often to parents about the 7 hours a day our kids (and us) spend on devices. To me, those 7 hours sound like a statistic. But 20 YEARS sounds like…a lifetime.
I recently had a friend pass away. He didn’t miss or want to be on social media or screens at the end of his life. He wanted more time with his loved ones. His chosen friends who were family. He booked a trip before he became too ill and traveled with family so they could spend time together, face to face. He spent time making dinners, sharing coffee, sitting, chatting, and sharing memories.
It seems like such a tragedy that we continue to outsource so much of our time to things that have no substantial meaning in the end. If anything, maybe we can teach our children how important it is to spend time WITH their loved ones and friends, and not behind a screen.
Kristi Bush serves as a national education consultant and social media safety advocate. She is a licensed social worker with greater than 15 years of clinical practice and health care experience. She attended Troy and Auburn University where she studied social work and counseling. Kristi travels nationally and has spoken with thousands of children, parents, professionals and organizations about the benefits and threats associated with social media. You may reach Kristi through her website at www.knbcommunications.com.
